Sourabh Banerjee'S Arena !

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to
the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply.

The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times
three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man.

The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times
three?"

"Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did
you get that?"

"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."


=========

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die".

1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.

2.At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.

3.For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't burden him with household chores.

4.Have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.

"You're going to die," she replied.


===================

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing,She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions, She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds, She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL says I love you, She means it. When a GIRL says "i miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than her.

============================================


A wife was helping her husband to set-up his Computer. The husband was in a cheeky mood so when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it obvious to his wife that he was typing in the word "penis" as password. His wife fell over from laughter when the computer replied: "Password rejected - not long enough".

===================


A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen: "Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."


=====================


Wife stands infront of her mirror and said to her husband: ”I am fat, old and no longer pretty. I am wrinkled and my breasts hang..Give me a compliment“ when he replied:

“Your eyesight is still excellent though!“

============


Different Phases of a man:
>After engagement: Superman
>After Marriage: Gentleman
>After 10 years: Watchman
>After 20 years: Doberman
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
>There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of
Women'?
>Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything
>and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
>A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
>A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

========================

Bruce Lee Profile

1. Favorite vegetable
* Mu Lee


2. Favourite Lunch
* Tha Lee


3. What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
* Kha Lee


4. Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name?
* Saa Lee


5. Favorite Breakfast
* Id Lee


6. Favourite festival
* Diwa Lee


7. Favorite Actress
* Sona Lee


8. Favorite Music
* Qawa Lee


9. Most interesting job?
* Coo Lee


10. When did Bruce Lee die?
* Fina Lee


11. How did Bruce Lee die?
* With a Go Lee


12. Favorite hill station
* Kulu Mana Lee


13. Nick name?
* Mawa Lee


14. Favori te Hindi movie?
* Gharwa Lee Baharwa Lee


15. Favourite cricketer?
* Saurav Gangu Lee


16. Favourite Pet
* Bil Lee


17. Favourite Passtime
* Khuj Lee


18. Bathing Place
* Na Lee


Sab Maaro
* Taa Lee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=====================================

HI! GuD MOrNing! KeEp SmIliNG![P] A FUNNY INTER!
Officer : What Is Your Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Offi : Tell Me Properly
Candi : Mohan Pal Sir
Offi : Your Father's Name ?
Candi : M P. Sir
Offi : What Does That Mean ?
Candi : Manmohan Pal Sir
Offi : Your Native Place
Candi : M P. Sir
Offi : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candi : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Offi : What Is Your Qualification?
Candi : M P. Sir
Offi : (Angrily) What Is It ?
Candi : Metric Pass
Offi : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candi : M P. Sir
Offi : And What Does That Mean ?
Candi : Money Problem Sir
Offi : Describe Your Personality
Candi : M P. Sir
Offi : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candi : Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance....?
Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
Officer : Mentally Puncture...

=============================

Girls for all
HARD-DISK Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.


RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.


WINDOWS Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.



SCREENSAVER Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!


INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.



SERVER Girls:
Always busy when you need her.



MULTIMEDIA Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.



CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.



E-MAIL Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.



VIRUS Girls:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expect


=============


You`ve Got Male

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to findout anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male!"